He stops by his childhood home for a few more bad memories. Ralph tells him, “You will never belong anywhere! Just look me up when you’re old and gray and I’ll remind you!” So he has held on to that for 40 years despite having a nice home home, a thriving career and a wife with no name.

On the way, he recalls other humiliations from his youth, having a big marble thrown in the creek, being afraid to throw rocks at a house, being roughed up, being tied to a tree. At this point, after 40 years of calls, Ralph must be mystified why this year, it was one day late. He tells no-name that he is going to Chicago, but he actually packs a small bag with the toys - and a non-toy gun - and goes to pay a visit to Ralph. When he says, “I must arise and go now,” she replies from the same Yeats poem, “but not to a bee-loud Glade.” Christ, these people make Frasier & Niles look like the Clampetts. She hands him a bottle of Worcestershire sauce and he pours about 1 molecule into a Bloody Mary before taking a sip. Is this how smart people talk in the morning? I’m more used to, “You owe me an extra $50 for that last thing.” He goes downstairs and sees the mess from the party and says, “When was the armistice signed?” His nameless, uncredited wife replies in a complete non-sequitur, “The world will little note, nor long remember” from Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address. Doug does not make the usual call that day, but the next morning goes to a locked cabinet in his garage where he keep momentos of the times that Ralph bullied him. On his 60th birthday, Doug, now a famous composer has something bigger in mind. He does it again on his 40th birthday, or maybe we are supposed to believe this is an annual occurrence. Is this Ralph Underhill?” Ralph says, “Yes,” and Doug hangs up the phone. On his 21st birthday, he calls Ralph and says, “Hello Ralph. This is intercut with telephone calls he made to his chief tormentor over the years since. Young piano prodigy Doug Spaulding is being chased through the woods by bullies. You put a moniker like that on an episode, and you better have some special in store.

The utterly perfect